i wanna love you but i'm growing old.


while i'm browsing through a lot of music at the moment in order to arrange a cool playlist for a friend's wedding, i stumbled over this song. it is beautiful.
and it catches a certain atmosphere i can relate to, so very much at this moment in my life. in my past i've been with men, i didn't care about. i've cared about men, that didn't want to be with me. and i've given my heart away to messed-up people. all this because i loved the mess, i enjoyed the chaos, i wanted it, and i could handle it somehow.
but then the time came when it all was just too much. too much craziness. and i felt i was getting too old to throw myself away. and i went home alone.